Douchebag Jar (Value: $15)

I slept on the beach once in Chile...just rolled out a sleeping bag and took a little nap.

The origin of the Douchebag Jar

To give some context for the previous and future posts referencing the “Douchebag Jar”, we thought we’d provide some insight…

A Douchebag Jar, by definition is “a jar into which a person puts money after he or she says or does something a douchebag would do.” 

The jar was popularized by the TV show, New Girl, a favourite of the JAK crew.
As it turns out, we tend to hear and say douchey and pretentious things all the time — so, naturally, the Douchebag Jar has made its way into our lives — and we’re sharing the instances with you!

Need some jar-worthy examples (besides ours, of course)? Watch this clip* from an episode of New Girl.

And when you’re ready, consider a Douchbag Jar for you and your douchebag friends too! It’s the easiest way to make money off those jerks you know and love.

*Sorry for the poor-ish quality; it was the best one we could find. 

Douchebag Jar (Value: The price of a gourmet sandwich)

J: "Oh man... Look at this sandwich, I could barely finish it last night."



A: "So, did you get the rest of it to go?"

J: "Ummmm... we made that."

#Douchebagjar

Funk Buster- Patton Oswalt

"It’s just one of those days,
When you don't wanna wake up,
Everything is fucked.
Everybody sucks.
You don't really know why,
But you want justify,
Rippin' someone's head off.
No human contact,
And if you interact,
Your life is on contract.
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker,
It's just one of those days!"

Yeah, that’s right, I opened my first post with a Limp Bizkit quote. Suck it haters! I’m sorry, that was… gah...  in all seriousness, the lamesauce quote sums up my attitude this past week. Everything was fucked, and everybody sucked. The well rounded lady I am, I knew that something had to be done. No one likes a negative Nancy, right? So, I embarked on a quest to find my Funk Buster.

What is a Funk Buster? A person, place or thing that takes you from “glass half empty” to “glass half full.” My Funk Buster this week is stand-up comedian, writer, and actor, Patton Oswalt. His stand-up album Werewolves and Lollipops (Sub Pop, 2007) is one of my favorite comedy acts and in my squalor I went to an old standby.

If you’re sensitive to sarcasm, this is not an act I’d recommend. If you’re anything like me, and love dry humour, definitely give it a shot. His anecdotes about working in Hollywood are gold to pop culture junkies like myself, and his social commentary is so spot on it’s like he peered into my twisted mind. Thank you Mr. Oswalt for taking my epic frown and not only turning it upside down, but turning it into gut busting laughs.

-K

Douchebag Jar (Value: $50)

“I don’t follow trends. Trends follow me.”

Dear food: I love you. And you're okay too, Bobby Flay.

I love food. I love cooking it. I love eating it. I love talking about it. I have always loved food. I grew up cooking with my Mom and asking at the breakfast table – “What’s for dinner?”
Somehow, I was lucky enough to marry a man who, as it turns out, loves food more than me. Who would have thought this boy (Jordan) that I started dating when I was 15 would end up being this amazingly adventurous cook – and really good at it?

Together, food is our passion. It’s how we spend our time. It’s what dominates our conversations. It’s why we travel.

Every Saturday and Sunday (when we don’t have other things going on), our time is spent recipe planning, sourcing ingredients from sometimes five different stores in one day, and eventually ending up in the kitchen for hours on end, cooking, sipping on cocktails and listening to music – namely The Dave Matthews Band (more on that in future posts – guaranteed!).

So, who was our first culinary inspiration? Bobby Flay. 

When we decided to buy our first cookbook after moving in together, we remembered a recommendation from our good friend Tim – an extreme foodie, who we blame for the money we now spend buying ingredients and travelling to places like New York, Las Vegas, Seattle – in the name of food (and Dave Matthews). His recommendation? Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill.

Mesa Grill is what started us down our path to trying new foods, and really, it’s what introduced us to our ‘foodie lifestyle.’  We’ve made almost every recipe in the book (our book is destroyed) – and have gone on to collect most of Bobby Flay’s other cookbooks - among countless others cookbooks. His recipes are delicious, beautiful and offer the perfect balance of being challenging, yet, approachable.  

In honour of Mesa Grill - our first love, our original food muse - I wanted to rank our top 5 favourite recipes from the book. I couldn’t manage to part with 10 of the 15 recipes on the short list. So, here are our TOP 15 FAVOURITES, in no particular order:

1. Queso Fundido with roasted poblano vinaigrette – Great for a drunken party snack. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten this recipe sober. Huh… I wonder if it’s actually good?
2. Sophie’s chopped salad – Now a family favourite with the best balsamic vinaigrette ever
3. Yellow corn crusted chile rellenos, with cruchd chickpeas – Amazing as an appetizer, especially for vegetarians.
4. Spicy hummus and zuchinni quesadillas, with white bean-poblano relish – A staple for weeknight dinners. One of my absolute favourites.
5. Spicy salmon tartare with avocado relish – Another amazing appetizer for the lover of raw fish. This is one of Jord’s favourites.
6. Grilled shrimp with habanero, toasted garlic vinagerette – This was the very first recipe we made from this book! We’ve probably made it 12 or more times. It’s an absolute dream in the summer, or anytime, really. I would drink this vinaigrette.
7. Tuna tostada with black bean-mango salsa and smoked red pepper sauce – It’s a Flay "fan favourite" for a reason. For those on a budget, it’s great with the 16-spiced chicken instead.
8. Pan roasted chicken with blackberry ancho sauce – Two words: life changing.
9. 16-spiced chicken – So good for just about any occasion. The only downside: buying 16 different spices.
10. Ancho-maple glazed turkey – An amazing spin on a family classic. Who doesn’t love gravy? Imagine it with maple syrup … it’s heaven.
11. New Mexican rubbed pork tenderloin with bourbon-ancho sauce – a.m.a.z.i.n.g. (Note: I ordered this at Mesa Grill in Las Vegas. Our homemade version was just as good!) What a recipe! It’s great to serve family style or elegantly plated. You choose!
12. Lamb with serrano-vinegar sauce – Think you don’t like lamb? Think again. I thought I hated it… I ate this recipe – I’ll never look back. Baaaaaaa.
13. Green pea risotto – Our first attempt at risotto was with this little bad-boy. What a treat. We make it at least once a month now. Nom nom nom.
14. Milk chocolate-peanut butter crème brulee – Nothing goes with chocolate quite like peanut butter. Same rule applies to this crème brulee. 
15. Mango-glazed bacon – Candied bacon? Um, yes please! It’s exactly what you’d want in bacon and more. It literally sticks to your teeth. We make this every Christmas morning!

I'll post pictures of some of these recipes, as we cook them all again, and again - and rediscover our love of each one of them. Thanks for the constant inspiration, Mr. Flay.
 
- J